#FEEDBACK 10

Another clever and melancholy concept! I like how he ends up having a sort of Gollum-esque conversation with his wife in the mirror, that has lots of potential to be expanded. Personally I might have chosen a different ending — a darker one, maybe in his conversation with himself he realises he doesn’t want to apologise to her, he wants to kill her. Depends on the genre of course!

The only other thing is that some of the description is difficult for a screenplay. You say the book smells like perfume, but a camera cannot film a smell. Is there a way you could describe that in terms of visible action?

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Video artist working at The New York Times. I write a weekly newsletter about visual storytelling and creativity. https://adamwestbrook.substack.com/

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Adam Westbrook

Adam Westbrook

Video artist working at The New York Times. I write a weekly newsletter about visual storytelling and creativity. https://adamwestbrook.substack.com/

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